Freedom provided by death is a phrase that may seem harsh when discussing the death of a spouse but, in this instance it is true. While my “husband” was alive Kidlet and I had to tiptoe around his craziness to do what we wanted, because he was batshit crazy. Also, I could not take her on out-of-state trips without him having a fit. Now that it has been a little over a month since he passed away nothing has really changed for me since he was not a large part of my life but, now Kidlet and I feel a great sense of freedom. Therefore, his death brought us freedom.
Since my “husband” passed away Kidlet has been able to spent a lot more time with her best friend that lives a significant distance away and get her belly button pierced. I have already started planning a trip for us to Disney World along with my cousin and her daughter in the Spring, a weekend trip to Boston and an extended visit to see Jenn in Kentucky in the summer. These are all things that previously would cause a huge issue therefore we did not have the freedom to live our lives the way we fully wanted to.
It’s hard to acknowledge how much his crazy behavior controlled certain aspects of Kidlet & our life together even though I basically had little to no contact with him for at least the last 3 years of his life. Also, now that he died Kidlet seems to be pushing me to date … I’m not sure why she thinks him being alive or not affected my ability to date. I did however, take the steps to sign up for an online dating site but, I haven’t felt comfortable to completely fill out my profile yet so I am kind of just browsing to see who is signed up.
Right now I guess our lives are just moving forward, leaving us feeling like in this instance that there was freedom in death …